Veritas
by boldlikeblack
Summary: Rachel learns the truth at the heart of the matter.   Spoilers for 'Furt'.  Finchel, Kurtofsky


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own glee, but I would like to have a sit down chat with Mr. M about ripping my dedicated 'shipper heart into teeny tiny pieces. I also don't own this song (I do, however, have tremendous respect for the artist who wrote/sings it).**

**A/N:**** [SPOILER ALERT! ISH] Well, WTF hey? Kudos to Max Adler for another brilliant performance, but really? I could barely hear it over the sound of my heart breaking at the end of the episode. This is a one shot to fill the void where my motivation to work on 'Love the Way You Lie' and 'Red Handed' used to be. I'm sure I'll get back to them at some point, after I've gotten over the shock of it all.**

**All I humbly ask is that you read and review, while keeping spoilers to a minimum.**

**Cheers – B**

BBB

Auditions to fill the gaping hole in New Directions don't go well.

It's not that McKinley lacks talented students, or that the glee club doesn't know how badly they need of a twelfth member to keep from being disqualified from Sectionals. It's just that none of the kids who audition are high maintenance enough, or sweet enough or fashionable enough, or catty enough. In short, none of them are Kurt.

That's what Mr. Shue and the members of New Directions want though. They want Kurt. They don't want to have to go to all the trouble of finding someone who will attempt to do what Kurt can without really even trying. They want Kurt to throw off his very dapper red and navy tie, come home, throw his arms around them and promise never to leave again.

But it won't happen. From what Rachel's seen on her frequent visits to the Hummel-Hudson house, Kurt's happy without them. He misses them terribly, or at least he says he does, but the glee clubbers miss him more. For Kurt, Dalton is filled to the brim with charm, elegance, intelligence and romance. Nothing in the world will make him come back to a place where his life was a never ending cycle of humiliation and terror.

Rachel knows it shouldn't hurt so much that Kurt doesn't need them, because Kurt is happy and safe and that should be what matters, but it does hurt. It hurts that he isn't around to keep her diva-ness in check, or to help Finn learn his dance steps, or to make sure Mercedes knows that salmon is not a colour that works on everyone. It hurts because Rachel needs Kurt. They all do.

Rachel has always dealt with her emotions through music, so she goes to the auditorium one day after school, intending to sing her sorrows away and wrack her brain for a solution to the twelfth member issue, and nearly has a coronary when she sees Dave Karofsky on sitting in a chair on stage across from a younger girl that Rachel doesn't recognize.

Of course, Rachel is livid and marching toward the stage even as the girl lifts an acoustic guitar out of its case. Karofsky is the reason Kurt is gone. He has no right to be in the auditorium, on the stage Kurt loved so much.

Rachel stops just in front of the stage, opening her mouth to give Karofsky a piece of her mind, when the girl starts to play. Then, to Rachel's utter horror, Karofsky starts to sing.

"I don't know if I can yell any louder," Karofsky begins quietly. "How many times have I kicked you out of here? Or said something insulting?"

If Rachel weren't so upset, she would probably be picking her jaw up off the floor. It's improbable that Karofsky, of all people, can carry a tune, and even though he can, P!nk just doesn't seem like an artist he would choose to pay homage to.

Karofsky looks at the floor as he starts to sing more audibly, staring at it like he wants it to burst into flames. "I can be so mean when I want to be. I am capable of really anything. I can cut you into pieces. When my heart is...broken," he sings.

Rachel stares, confounded and speechless, as the girl playing the guitar adds her voice to the chorus.

"Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I always say how I don't need you, but it's always gonna come right back to this. Please don't leave me," they harmonize.

Karofsky stands and steps away from his chair, pacing the stage as he sings, "How did I become so obnoxious? What is it with you that makes me act like this? I've never been this nasty."

The teenager's face is a mask of frustration and pain as he looks up at the lights above the stage. "Can't you tell that this is all just a contest? The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest. But baby I don't mean it, I mean it, I promise," he sings, his voice breaking a little on the last line.

Karofsky and his accompanist's voices blend again over the chorus. "Please don't leave me. Oh, please don't leave me. I always say how I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back to this. Please don't leave me," they sing.

Rachel is shocked by the emotion and power behind Karofsky's voice as he hits the bridge.

"I forgot to say out loud, how beautiful you really are to me," he sings, reaching out. "I can't be without; you're my perfect little punching bag."

Why it's Kurt, Rachel realizes all at once. Karofsky is singing about Kurt. Karofsky is hurting because Kurt is gone, even though Karofsky is the one that made him leave. Rachel has to grip the edge of one of the auditorium seats to keep from collapsing under the weight of the very idea. It's unfathomable, but it's the truth, plain as day. Rachel can hear it in Karofsky's voice as he sings "And I need you. I'm sorry."

She can hear the longing, the pain and the rage. She can hear how much Karofsky means every single word he's singing. Rachel's heart nearly breaks for him.

"Please, please don't leave me," Karofsky begs. "Baby, please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I always say how I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back to this. Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I always say how I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back to this. Please, please don't leave me. Baby, please don't leave me."

Then the song ends and the whole thing comes crashing down on Rachel as she meets Karofsky's terrified hazel eyes. Rachel can hear him swallow as the last strains of the guitar fade into silence. He knows she knows and she knows that he knows she knows. "Please don't tell anyone," Karofsky asks quietly, surprising Rachel.

She expects rage and threats, but not this. Karofsky's timid request, so unlike him, reminds her too much of the girl she used to be, the one who wanted everything too much. They certainly don't express the feeling in the same way, but Rachel can see the barely hidden yearning behind Karofsky's eyes.

The words that come out of her mouth next are absolute madness, but they make a sick kind of sense. "Join glee," she says.

"I can't," Karofsky replies, shaking his head.

But Rachel can't think of the repercussions at the moment. All she can think about is how much New Directions hurts without Kurt and how much Karofsky is hurting too. "You will," Rachel states in her diva-voice.

Karofsky's face turns red and he looks like he's about to start yelling at her in his customary way when a small hand wraps around his forearm and squeezes. Rachel and Karofsky both turn to look at its owner, the girl who'd been playing guitar for Karofsky. "Something's gotta give, big bro," she says, patting his arm gently.

Watching Karofsky's anger drain out of him is a surreal experience. He looks nothing like the bloated bully he usually is. Instead, Rachel gets her first look behind the curtain at the scared, confused, helplessly-in-love boy that's been hiding behind the bully for God knows how long. "Join glee," she says again.

"I...okay," Karofsky answers.

Rachel knows that the rest of New Directions isn't going to be pleased. She'll have to beg Mr. Shue to give Karofsky a chance. Bringing his step-brother's tormentor into Kurt's former sanctuary will cause problems between her and Finn. Rachel knows it's not going to be easy by any stretch of the word.

The right thing never is.


End file.
